My Testimony

 

I was born into a military family (Air Force).  My parents, at the time of my upbringing, were atheists. I was told, at a very young age, that ‘when you die, you die, there’s nothing afterwards’.  I tried to picture ‘nothingness’, but soon I concluded (perhaps through a revelation?) that there is no such thing as ‘nothingness’.  As I pondered what nothingness was, I saw something like molecules moving in perpetual motion!  I was about 4 or 5 at the time.  So, I decided that my mother was mistaken when she made this remark. 

Before coming to the faith, the Lord gave me a dream in 1974:

I had a dream when I lived in Miami Beach.  I dreamt that I was with a horde of people being herded forward by something dark and foreboding behind us.  There were dark clouds over us.  We couldn’t see this thing because we were jammed tightly together and could only walk forward and could only turn our heads to the right or left.  Anyone that’s visited Broadway’s Imperial Theatre would understand how close we were…like sardines.  Anyway, I was in the front section of the crowd.  We came to the banks of a very choppy body of water.  We looked to the person to the left and right of us, wondering what to do next.  Then I looked up and saw Jesus standing on top of a high rock, with a halo of light around Him, holding His arms out toward us.  I said, ‘Look!  There’s Jesus!  And I very excitedly jumped into the choppy water and swam toward Him.  Then the others started jumping in too and swimming toward Him.  When I reached Him, I suddenly found myself in a classroom with girls younger than I in it.  I was teaching them about Jesus.  Another person, a male from Delmar, appeared in the dream in a classroom of young boys and he was teaching them the same.  The love of the Lord was so heavy and thick and amazing; the like of which I had never experienced.  I was so happy and so were all of the others.  This dream happened in either 1974 or 1975, which was before I became a follower of Christ in 1976.

When my mother died, at the age of 46, I questioned the purpose of life.  So much unhappiness, and then you die???  I started having panic attacks.  I watched a Billy Graham Crusade one night and asked the Lord into my heart.  That is when everything changed.  I could not stop smiling!  I had peace and joy!  I realized that God and the Bible were real!  I had a spiritual rebirth, I was born-again, with the Spirit abiding in me!

I did not attend a church service until I was in my mid-twenties, after I asked the Lord into my life.  I would like to pay tribute to my beloved Grandmother, Ruth Hastings, whose prayers, I am certain, helped to bring me into the Kingdom of Adonai. 

When I first started reading the Bible, the devil, HaSatan was angry and he whispered accusing thoughts into my mind while I was reading scriptures.  He would whisper: “See what kind of God you serve; He kills women and children.”  He would accuse Adonai!  I didn’t know that there was a devil, HaSatan.  I thought these were my own thoughts.  I would pray and beg Adonai to forgive me for thinking such things.  When I found out about that liar, the devil, HaSatan, and his deceptive tactics, I learned to resist him.  Soon I was released to study the Bible without torment. 

After a few years attending a Methodist congregation, I started attending a ‘full gospel’ type congregation and gleaned all I could from there.  It was there that I met and married my beloved husband, Mark.  But the congregation did not appreciate it when I made the discovery that the ‘law of Moses’ is still in effect.  So eventually we parted ways.  You cannot walk together unless you are in agreement.

I must confess, my progress in keeping the commandments of Adonai was slow.  Initially, we started celebrating Passover in the 1980s, and did so yearly.  It is my favorite set apart time.  But the other moedim we came to observe later.  I didn’t start observing the Sabbath until around 1997.  It has been a lonely journey because the majority of believers in Yeshua do not recognize that we are expected to keep the commandments.

I am a simple human being, who has discovered the wonderful salvation my heavenly Father has provided through His Son’s sacrifice upon the execution stake.  His Son is Yeshua, the Messiah.  By my faith in His sacrifice and saving blood, I have received forgiveness for my sins.  If I confess my sins, when I fall into sin, for none are perfect, Adonai is faithful to forgive me.  Understand, if I sin deliberately, there will be a price to pay. 

The Lord has given me many revelations through His appointed times (see Leviticus 23).  He also gives me revelations when I study His word.  I love to read His word aloud for nothing better can come from my lips.

I am sharing my story so others may know that the Lord, Adonai, is real.  He loves us and wants us to have abundant life through the revelation of His Great Salvation, even His Son, Yeshua.  He wants us to walk in HIS ways, to love justice and mercy, and to walk in humbleness with Him.  The reward is eternal life, filled with love, peace, joy, wholeness, light and fellowship.

Just like the rest of us, I have been through many trials, of health, finances, family, etc.  My heavenly Father has sustained me through them all.  He can do this for every human being, if they would allow Him.  It is His desire to give us abundant life. 

 I am simply blessed!  

 

Yeshua in Psalms 119

 Psalm 119 (CJB)

א (Alef)

119 How happy are those whose way of life is blameless, who live by the Yeshua of Adonai!
² How happy are those who observe his Yeshua, who seek him wholeheartedly!
³ They do nothing wrong but live by his ways.
⁴ You laid down your Yeshua for us to observe with care.
⁵ May my ways be steady in observing your Yeshua.
⁶ Then I will not be put to shame, since I will have fixed my sight on all your Yeshua.
⁷ I thank you with a sincere heart as I learn your righteous Yeshua.
⁸ I will observe your Yeshua; don’t completely abandon me!

ב (Bet)

⁹ How can a young man keep his way pure?
By guarding it according to your Yeshua.
¹⁰ I seek you with all my heart; don’t let me stray from your Yeshua.
¹¹ I treasure your Yeshua in my heart,
so that I won’t sin against you.
¹² Blessed are you, Adonai!
Teach me your Yeshua.
¹³ I proclaim with my mouth
all the Yeshua you have spoken.
¹⁴ I rejoice in the way of your Yeshua
more than in any kind of wealth.
¹⁵ I will meditate on your Yeshua
and keep my eyes on your ways.
¹⁶ I will find my delight in your Yeshua.
I will not forget your Yeshua.

ג (Gimel)

¹⁷ Deal generously with your servant;
then I will live and observe your Yeshua.
¹⁸ Open my eyes, so that I will see
wonders from your Yeshua.
¹⁹ Though I’m just a wanderer on the earth,
don’t hide your Yeshua from me.
²⁰ I am continually consumed
with longing for your Yeshua.
²¹ You rebuke the proud, the cursed,
who stray from your Yeshua.
²² Remove scorn and contempt from me,
because I observe your Yeshua.
²³ Even when princes sit and plot against me,
your servant meditates on your Yeshua.
²⁴ Also your Yeshua are my delight;
they are my counselors.

ד (Dalet)

²⁵ I lie prostrate in the dust;
revive me, in keeping with your Yeshua.
²⁶ I told you of my ways, and you answered me; teach me your Yeshua.
²⁷ Make me understand the way of your Yeshua, and I will meditate on your wonders.
²⁸ I am melting away from anxiety and grief;
renew my strength, in keeping with your Yeshua.
²⁹ Keep deceitful ways far from me,
and favor me with your Yeshua.
³⁰ I choose the way of trust;
I set your Yeshua [before me].
³¹ I cling to your Yeshua;
Adonai, don’t let me be put to shame!
³² I will run the way of your Yeshua,
for you have broadened my understanding.

ה (Heh)

³³ Teach me, Adonai, the way of your Yeshua; keeping them will be its own reward for me.
³⁴ Give me understanding; then I will keep your Yeshua; I will observe it with all my heart.
³⁵ Guide me on the path of your Yeshua,
for I take pleasure in it.
³⁶ Bend my heart toward your Yeshua
and not toward selfish gain.
³⁷ Turn my eyes away from worthless things;
with your ways, give me life.
³⁸ Fulfill your Yeshua, which you made to your servant, which you made to those who fear you.
³⁹ Avert the disgrace which I dread,
for your Yeshua are good.
⁴⁰ See how I long for your Yeshua;
in your righteousness, give me life!

ו (Vav)

⁴¹ May your grace come to me, Adonai,
your salvation, as you Yeshua;
⁴² then I will have an answer for those who taunt me; for I trust in your Yeshua.
⁴³ Don’t take away completely my power to speak the truth; for I put my hope in your Yeshua;
⁴⁴ and I will keep your Yeshua always,
forever and ever.
⁴⁵ I will go wherever I like,
for I have sought your Yeshua.
⁴⁶ I will speak of your Yeshua even to kings without being ashamed.
⁴⁷ I will delight myself in your Yeshua,
which I have loved.
⁴⁸ I will lift my hands to your Yeshua, which I love; and I will meditate on your Yeshua.

ז (Zayin)

⁴⁹ Remember your Yeshua to your servant,
through which you have given me hope.
⁵⁰ In my distress my comfort is this:
that your Yeshua gives me life.
⁵¹ Though the arrogant scorn me completely,
I have not turned away from your Yeshua.
⁵² Adonai, I keep in mind your age-old Yeshua; in them I take comfort.
⁵³ Fury seizes me when I think of the wicked, because they abandon your Yeshua.
⁵⁴ Your Yeshua have become my songs
wherever I make my home.
⁵⁵ I remember your name, Adonai, at night;
and I observe your Yeshua.
⁵⁶ This [comfort] has come to me,
because I observe your Yeshua.

ח (Het)

⁵⁷ Adonai, I say that my task
is to observe your Yeshua.
⁵⁸ I beg your favor with my whole heart;
show pity to me, in keeping with your Yeshua.
⁵⁹ I thought about my ways
and turned my feet toward your Yeshua.
⁶⁰ I hurry, I don’t delay,
to observe your Yeshua.
⁶¹ Even when the cords of the wicked close around me, I don’t forget your Yeshua.
⁶² At midnight I rise to give you thanks
because of your righteous Yeshua.
⁶³ I am a friend of all who fear you,
of those who observe your Yeshua.
⁶⁴ The earth, Adonai, is full of your grace;
teach me your Yeshua.

 ט (Tet)

⁶⁵ You have treated your servant well,
Adonai, in keeping with your Yeshua.
⁶⁶ Teach me good judgment and knowledge,
because I trust in your Yeshua.
⁶⁷ Before I was humbled, I used to go astray;
but now I observe your Yeshua.
⁶⁸ You are good, and you do good;
teach me your Yeshua.
⁶⁹ The arrogant are slandering me, but I will wholeheartedly keep your Yeshua.
⁷⁰ Their hearts are as thick as fat,
but I take delight in your Yeshua.
⁷¹ It is for my good that I have been humbled; it was so that I would learn your Yeshua.
⁷² The Yeshua you have spoken means more to me than a fortune in gold and silver.

י (Yud)

⁷³ Your hands made and formed me; give me understanding, so I can learn your Yeshua.
⁷⁴ Those who fear you rejoice at the sight of me, because I put my hope in your Yeshua.
⁷⁵ I know, Adonai, that your Yeshua are righteous, that even when you humble me you are faithful.
⁷⁶ Let your grace comfort me, in keeping with your Yeshua to your servant.
⁷⁷ Show me pity, and I will live,
for your Yeshua is my delight.
⁷⁸ Let the proud be ashamed, because they wrong me with lies; as for me, I will meditate on your Yeshua.
⁷⁹ Let those who fear you turn to me,
along with those who know your Yeshua.
⁸⁰ Let my heart be pure in your Yeshua,
so that I won’t be put to shame.

 כ (Kaf)

⁸¹ I am dying to know your salvation;
my hope is in your Yeshua.
⁸² My eyes fail from watching for your Yeshua; I ask, “When will you comfort me?”
⁸³ For I have shriveled like a wineskin in a smoky room; still, I don’t forget your Yeshua.
⁸⁴ How long can your servant stay alive?
When will you bring judgment on my persecutors?
⁸⁵ The arrogant have dug pits for me to fall in; this is not in keeping with your Yeshua!
⁸⁶ All your Yeshua [show your] faithfulness; they are hounding me with lies; help me!
⁸⁷ They have nearly ended my life on earth,
but I have not abandoned your Yeshua.
⁸⁸ In keeping with your grace, revive me;
and I will observe your spoken Yeshua.

ל (Lamed)

⁸⁹ Your Yeshua continues forever, Adonai,
firmly fixed in heaven;
⁹⁰ your faithfulness through all generations;
you established the earth, and it stands.
⁹¹ Yes, it stands today, in keeping with your Yeshua; for all things are your servants.
⁹² If your Yeshua had not been my delight,
I would have perished in my distress.
⁹³ I will never forget your Yeshua,
for with them you have made me alive.
⁹⁴ I am yours; save me
because I seek your Yeshua.
⁹⁵ The wicked hope to destroy me,
but I focus on your Yeshua.
⁹⁶ I see the limits of all perfection,
but your Yeshua has no bounds.

 מ (Mem)

⁹⁷ How I love your Yeshua!
I meditate on it all day.
⁹⁸ I am wiser than my foes,
because your Yeshua are mine forever.
⁹⁹ I have more understanding than all my teachers, because I meditate on your Yeshua.
¹⁰⁰ I understand more than my elders,
because I keep your Yeshua.
¹⁰¹ I keep my feet from every evil way,
in order to observe your Yeshua.
¹⁰² I don’t turn away from your Yeshua,
because you have instructed me.
¹⁰³ How sweet to my tongue is your Yeshua, truly sweeter than honey in my mouth!
¹⁰⁴ From your Yeshua I gain understanding; this is why I hate every false way.

נ (Nun)

¹⁰⁵ Your Yeshua is a lamp for my foot
and light on my path.
¹⁰⁶ I have sworn an oath and confirmed it,
that I will observe your righteous Yeshua.
¹⁰⁷ I am very much distressed; Adonai, give me life, in keeping with your Yeshua.
¹⁰⁸ Please accept my mouth’s voluntary offerings, Adonai; and teach me your Yeshua.
¹⁰⁹ I am continually taking my life in my hands, yet I haven’t forgotten your Yeshua.
¹¹⁰ The wicked have set a trap for me,
yet I haven’t strayed from your Yeshua.
¹¹¹ I take your Yeshua as a permanent heritage, because it is the joy of my heart.
¹¹² I have resolved to obey your Yeshua
forever, at every step.

ס (Samekh)

¹¹³ I hate doubleminded people,
but I love your Yeshua.
¹¹⁴ You are my hiding-place and shield;
I put my hope in your Yeshua.
¹¹⁵ Leave me alone, you evildoers,
so that I can keep my God’s Yeshua.
¹¹⁶ Uphold me, as you Yeshua; and I will live; don’t disappoint me in my hope.
¹¹⁷ Support me; and I will be saved, always putting my attention on your Yeshua.
¹¹⁸ You reject all who stray from your Yeshua, for what they deceive themselves with is false.
¹¹⁹ You discard the wicked of the earth like slag; this is why I love your Yeshua.
¹²⁰ My body trembles for fear of you;
your Yeshua make me afraid.

ע (‘Ayin)

¹²¹ I have done what is just and right;
don’t abandon me to my oppressors.
¹²² Guarantee your servant’s well-being;
don’t let the arrogant oppress me.
¹²³ My eyes fail from watching for your Yeshua and for [the fulfillment of] your righteous Yeshua.
¹²⁴ Deal with your servant in accordance with your grace, and teach me your Yeshua.
¹²⁵ I am your servant; give me understanding, so that I can know your Yeshua.
¹²⁶ The time has come for Adonai to act,
because they are breaking your Yeshua.
¹²⁷ Therefore I love your Yeshua
more than gold, more than fine gold.
¹²⁸ Thus I direct my steps by [your] Yeshua; every false way I hate.

פ (Peh)

¹²⁹ Your Yeshua is a wonder;
this is why I follow it.
¹³⁰ Your Yeshua are a doorway that lets in light, giving understanding to the thoughtless.
¹³¹ My mouth is wide open, as I pant
with longing for your Yeshua.
¹³² Turn to me, and show me your favor;
in keeping with [your] judgment for those who love your name.
¹³³ Guide my footsteps by your Yeshua;
don’t let any kind of sin rule me.
¹³⁴ Redeem me from human oppression,
and I will observe your Yeshua.
¹³⁵ Make your face shine on your servant,
and teach me your Yeshua.
¹³⁶ Rivers of tears flow down from my eyes,
because they don’t observe your Yeshua.

צ (Tzadeh)

¹³⁷ You are righteous, Adonai;
and your Yeshua are upright.
¹³⁸ You have commanded your Yeshua
in righteousness and great faithfulness.
¹³⁹ My zeal is destroying me, because my foes have forgotten your Yeshua.
¹⁴⁰ Your Yeshua is refined to complete purity, and your servant loves it.
¹⁴¹ I may be small and despised,
but I do not forget your Yeshua.
¹⁴² Your righteousness is eternal righteousness, and your Yeshua is truth.
¹⁴³ Trouble and distress have overtaken me,
but your Yeshua are my delight.
¹⁴⁴ Your Yeshua is righteous forever;
give me understanding, and I will live.

 ק (Kuf)

¹⁴⁵ Wholeheartedly I am calling on you;
answer me, Adonai; I will keep your Yeshua.
¹⁴⁶ I am calling on you; save me;
and I will observe your Yeshua.
¹⁴⁷ I rise before dawn and cry for help;
I put my hope in your Yeshua.
¹⁴⁸ My eyes are open before the night watches, so that I can meditate on your Yeshua.
¹⁴⁹ In your grace, hear my voice; Adonai, in keeping with your justice, revive me.
¹⁵⁰ The pursuers of carnality are getting close; they are distancing themselves from your Yeshua.
¹⁵¹ You are close by, Adonai;
and all your Yeshua are truth.
¹⁵² Long ago I learned from your Yeshua
that you established it forever.

ר (Resh)

¹⁵³ Look at my distress, and rescue me,
for I do not forget your Yeshua.
¹⁵⁴ Plead my cause, and redeem me;
in keeping with your Yeshua, revive me.
¹⁵⁵ Salvation is far away from the wicked,
because they don’t seek your Yeshua.
¹⁵⁶ Great is your compassion, Adonai;
in keeping with your Yeshua, revive me.
¹⁵⁷ Although my persecutors and foes are many, I have not turned away from your Yeshua.
¹⁵⁸ I look at traitors with disgust,
because they don’t keep your Yeshua.
¹⁵⁹ See how I love your Yeshua, Adonai;
in keeping with your grace, revive me.
¹⁶⁰ The main thing about your Yeshua is that it’s true; and all your just Yeshua last forever.

 ש (Shin)

¹⁶¹ Princes persecute me for no reason,
but my heart stands in awe of your Yeshua.
¹⁶² I take joy in your Yeshua,
like someone who finds much booty.
¹⁶³ I hate falsehood, I detest it;
but I love your Yeshua.
¹⁶⁴ I praise you seven times a day
because of your righteous Yeshua.
¹⁶⁵ Those who love your Yeshua have great peace; nothing makes them stumble.
¹⁶⁶ I hope for your deliverance, Adonai;
I obey your Yeshua.
¹⁶⁷ My soul observes your Yeshua,
and I love it so much!
¹⁶⁸ I observe your Yeshua and Yeshua,
for all my ways lie open before you.

ת (Tav)

¹⁶⁹ Let my cry come before you, Adonai;
in keeping with your Yeshua, give me understanding.
¹⁷⁰ Let my prayer come before you;
in keeping with your Yeshua, rescue me.
¹⁷¹ Let my lips speak praise,
because you teach me your Yeshua.
¹⁷² Let my tongue sing of your Yeshua,
because all your Yeshua are righteous.
¹⁷³ Let your hand be ready to help me,
because I choose your Yeshua.
¹⁷⁴ I long for your deliverance, Adonai;
and your Yeshua is my delight.
¹⁷⁵ Let me live, and I will praise you;
let your Yeshua help me.
¹⁷⁶ I strayed like a lost sheep; seek out your servant; for I do not forget your Yeshua.

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